Tuesday, June 23, 2015
It's no secret that I grew up, the daughter of an alcoholic. While it's not something I talk about much anymore, it is still (and will always be) a huge part of my life. As a result of my childhood, I have a pretty bad problem with anxiety.
The stories I could tell from my childhood would shock some of you (not all...and to those folks, I'm sorry...as that probably means you have been exposed to worse).
I have noticed that my anxiety has gotten way worse since my Daddy passed in April. The other day while driving I was thinking about it and started to think about my Dad, and wondering what happened to drive him to drink so much...? Then I wondered if he, too, struggled with anxiety. I can totally see how it would be easy to drink to relieve these feelings. I, thankfully, have had some treatment and counseling to help me cope. My Daddy may have never seen those options when it started. Sadly, I'll never know. Whatever it was that triggered his drinking, it breaks my heart that he struggled with it for so long. Alcoholism is a disease, and it's a battle I witnessed him fight for my entire life.
My anxiety is something I struggle with every minute of every day and it's exhausting. It's hard to explain how it feels, and it's frustrating not to be understood. I am actively seeking natural ways to help ease it, so that I won't be so dependent on medication to mask the feelings I have.
Ultimately, I don't want this to cause my son to develop an anxiety problem. I want the cycle to be broken. I want him to be happy & healthy...both physically and mentally.